Compatibility of the Sexes

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When a good girl and a bad boy get betrothed,

he glimpses heaven while she catches hell,

their sex life is fast, furious, sporadic, and fleeting,

and the only heavenly treatment she’ll ever get

is during recuperation from her injuries in Saint something-or-other Hospital.

When a bad girl and a good boy get hitched

it is heaven up front but hell in the end

when he finds out the “good” sex was only her way

of gaining financial security through divorce of another love-struck fool.

When a bad boy and bad girl get together

their marriage is hell on Earth… but

with a sex life so heavenly satisfying

it must inevitably damn them for eternity.

When a good boy and good girl join as one

their marriage is the perfect union, heaven on Earth

with a sex life so hellishly boring

it can actually earn them sainthood…

unless, of course, they pretend to be bad in the bedroom.

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© JW Thomas

Define Woman

Define woman

She is the epitome

and end

of beauty

She is the woman within women

Enigmatic

never to be fully known

never to fully know herself

all blessing

all curse

ever-changing

a never-ending quest

an unreachable goal

predestined without destination

Fantasy infused reality

invisible inspiration

a naked muse clothed in mystery

Ethereal evaporation

Parched paragons

paramours

eternally thirst

for Maiden’s tears

and Mother’s milk

and Virgin’s blood

Perfumed promise

signals mixed

communication quandary

altered states

salty sweat

saliva swapped

sweet release

 

Light—dark

Day—night

Yes—no

Now—later

Present—past

Right—wrong

Weak—strong

Happy—sad

Black—white—red—yellow—brown

Going to town

Uptown—downtown

Sex—gender—sex

is great, good, fair, vile, filth

“Don’t worry… be happy!”

Makes dates

breaks dates

procreates

P—A—U—S—E

Meditates

Medicates

Instigates

Liberates

A choice

A chosen

Nature

Natural

Au natural

 

Woman is elemental

possesses every element

She nurses

fasts

thirsts

and feeds

Nourished

nourishing

nourishment

Woman feeds life

humanity

the heart, the mind, the soul

Woman feeds man

woman and child

She feeds

the growth of all things

the death of all things

all pleasure

all pain

She feeds you

She feeds me

She is the bond between present and past

the hope you hope will always last

the wealth you spend that’s never taxed

the pardon from crime… the justice axe

She is all of this

and none of this

everything

and nothing

the living

and dead

purity

and ash

Woman… is the indefinable definition of all

 

© JW Thomas

Cavalier

Accomplished in arms; gallant and carefree

He’s haughty and arrogant, but something to see

A dancing partner that the ladies cheer

He’s simply known as… the Cavalier

 

With horsemanship superseded by none

Unattainable when he’s on the run

A man of good means with talent galore

Who steals the show when he walks through the door

 

And the women say, “Dear, Dear Cavalier, come rest by my side

I know it won’t be for long, though a life maybe lived in one night.”

The women say, “Dear, Dear Cavalier, fill us with fantasy

So though we do not capture your heart, we’ll capture your memory.”

 

It seems Lady Luck is wedded to him

And all other ladies are each his best friend

Though he asks them not, they give him their all

Just for the chance to dance at the ball

 

He dances till dusk; he dances till dawn

His whole life’s spent dancing to just one more song

Though he is as they want there’s a valley to cross

Sometimes he does wonder… was it worth all the loss?

 

And the women say, “Dear, Dear Cavalier, come rest by my side

I know it won’t be for life, though a life maybe lived in one night.”

The women say, “Dear, Dear Cavalier, fill us with fantasy

So though we do not capture your heart, we’ll capture your memory.”

 

 

© JW Thomas

Don’t fudge what you say

There are things you don’t say to a lady

Especially if you’re not good friends

Like with the subject of shaving

Don’t ask her how long has it been

 

And if you’re out at a bar

And a lady asks, “What are you up to?”

Don’t say, “I’m looking for a lady,

But it’s late, so I guess you will do.”

 

If you’re given a choice to speak out in voice

Be careful not to stick your boot in

Don’t fudge what you say or you’ll rue the day

When her three-fifty-seven starts shootin’

 

Don’t ever call a lady a “broad”

Or tell her she’s got broad dimensions

And don’t ask her about dating him

If you’re talking about Rin Tin Tin

 

Don’t compliment her on her hair

If it sits above her top lip

And don’t ever call her a pervert

If she is still holding the whip

 

If she asks you why men die sooner

Don’t tell her, “Cuz’ they live with women”

It puts a damper on dinner

When she hits you with all of the trimmin’

 

And the quickest way to change your princess

Into a broom riding hag

Just tell her when she wears her mink coat

It looks and feels just like shag

 

If you’re given a choice to speak out in voice

Be careful not to stick your boot in

Don’t fudge what you say or you’ll rue the day

When her three-fifty-seven starts shootin’

 

 

© JW Thomas