Don’t fudge what you say

There are things you don’t say to a lady

Especially if you’re not good friends

Like with the subject of shaving

Don’t ask her how long has it been

 

And if you’re out at a bar

And a lady asks, “What are you up to?”

Don’t say, “I’m looking for a lady,

But it’s late, so I guess you will do.”

 

If you’re given a choice to speak out in voice

Be careful not to stick your boot in

Don’t fudge what you say or you’ll rue the day

When her three-fifty-seven starts shootin’

 

Don’t ever call a lady a “broad”

Or tell her she’s got broad dimensions

And don’t ask her about dating him

If you’re talking about Rin Tin Tin

 

Don’t compliment her on her hair

If it sits above her top lip

And don’t ever call her a pervert

If she is still holding the whip

 

If she asks you why men die sooner

Don’t tell her, “Cuz’ they live with women”

It puts a damper on dinner

When she hits you with all of the trimmin’

 

And the quickest way to change your princess

Into a broom riding hag

Just tell her when she wears her mink coat

It looks and feels just like shag

 

If you’re given a choice to speak out in voice

Be careful not to stick your boot in

Don’t fudge what you say or you’ll rue the day

When her three-fifty-seven starts shootin’

 

 

© JW Thomas

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12 thoughts on “Don’t fudge what you say

    • jwtatfbc March 4, 2016 / 5:22 am

      Of course I would never say anything like that to you, my friend. ha ha

      Liked by 1 person

      • jwtatfbc March 4, 2016 / 5:29 am

        I keep telling you great minds think alike. I have several S&Ws and Rugers.

        Like

      • Mary Cathleen Clark March 4, 2016 / 5:35 am

        It’s my first and only handgun. When married to my first husband, I fired a variety of rifles, though just at targets. I also have a conceal and carry license. I don’t know how things work where you live, but I had to take a class, get fingerprinted, plus pay a pretty hefty fee for it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • jwtatfbc March 4, 2016 / 5:38 am

        I have a CCW as well. Remember, I’m an ex-PI. I have been around guns most of my life, and Karen got me into archery; but I haven’t kept that up since she passed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Cathleen Clark March 4, 2016 / 5:41 am

        I am no expert by a long shot. Just have it for personal protection, especially when traveling.

        Liked by 1 person

      • jwtatfbc March 4, 2016 / 5:44 am

        Smart; especially nowadays. I’d apply for that job, but it sounds like it’s taken. ha ha

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Cathleen Clark March 4, 2016 / 5:48 am

        Just by me. 😦 I know my husband would try to protect me if it came to it, but because of the shape he’s in, it might give him a heart attack–literally.

        Liked by 1 person

      • jwtatfbc March 4, 2016 / 5:54 am

        It takes courage either way. And I’m glad you have someone in case of situations like that. Too valuable not to.

        I continue to be the lone gun riding into town… and going off into the sunset. Gee! How romantic… not!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Cathleen Clark March 4, 2016 / 6:01 am

        You are romantic and don’t know it. 🙂
        I’m in the process of writing you a short letter, then going to bed, so I’m gonna go. Talk to you later.

        Liked by 1 person

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