[*Collaborative poem by Katie Leavitt and Jerry Thomas]
Men rank TV alongside breathing, steak, and sex
Women watch to find the newest household cleaners.
Women dance in red patent peep-toes to have a good time
Men dance because their date asks, rudely stomping toes.
Men see fashion as another person’s opinion of how to dress
Women know dressing parallels success.
Women eat chocolate because it heals the heart
Men know chocolate heals the relationship.
Men see money as a means to an end
Women know more money equals more shoes.
Women keep the house tidy in case the Queen drops in for tea
Men think their mother is the Queen.
Men view marriage as a loss of freedom
Women marry to play the grown-up version of dress-up.
Women hold funerals for dead pets
Men toast the animals they’ve hunted.
Men doubt this back-and-forth communication has value
Women print it, place it on the mantle, and read it like a manual.
© JW Thomas and Katie Leavitt